When Your Healing Gifts Go Unreceived (and You Start to Doubt Yourself as a Healer)

If you've ever felt like there's like a specific type of love inside of you that people don't want to receive, this episode is for you. This is the healer's journey. I'm your host, Inge Broer, and I consider healing work my art. And when I don't get to do it, when I don't get to work with people, when I don't get to develop programs or something, I go a little bit nuts. I really do. The way I see it is that there's a specific type of love in me that when it doesn't get to land, it kind of hurts and it starts backing up in my system.

It starts feeling griefy. It starts feeling resenty. It start feeling all sorts of things. So, I know that doing healing work in the world is really not for the people I help where it is, but it's also really for me. And it's been an amazing labor of love in my life to create a business that allows for that type of love that I have inside of me to reliably land. But what I want to talk about today is really about that dual pain and longing of getting that healing light that you have that for the right people can land and transform their world entirely allowing that to land.

And on the face of it, it can feel like at the beginning, it can feel like people don't they like don't know what to do with your newfound passion for healing. People that you've been friends with for years are like, "What are you doing though? And why are you doing this? I don't get it. I can't connect with you in the same way." And there's a specific kind of pain. When you see someone in pain, but they've got walls up around them protecting them from the healing that's available. And you know what?

That's the most common normal thing in the world. And we all have that. Nobody wants to feel pain. We're wired not to want to. Human, okay? Not not evolved. And yet, I know that you're probably one of those people that when you're around somebody who has big amounts of metabolized pain, you just want to either take it from them, you want to help them transform it, you want to make them stop it, shut it down, because behind that, you have a huge love for humanity and you want to see people happy. You want to see people thriving.

You want to see people living their not just their best life. You want to see people living their truest purpose in the world. And you suspect that your truest purpose in the world is to help others do that. If you relate to this, my friend, I I think you're a natural healer and you are an incredible resource and balm in our world. I think it's so important that you're here and the desire and the wish is not enough. There needs to be real skill in delivering this reliably and real skill in getting the right people to want it from you.

I see the work of a healer starts in their soul. There's a specific path that your soul has chosen which included some pain assuredly cuz all of our soul's paths include some pain. You were led somehow to transmute that pain, to create something more beautiful, more loving from that pain. And you learned some skills along the way. You learned to see a certain soul lesson, soul pattern, soul archetypal unfolding on this earth really, really, really well. And you keep showing up in devotion. Perhaps the only thing missing is some faith that if this has been given to you as a vision, if this is your soul's path, that you can rise to meet the occasion.

All right, my dear. So, I have this little framework. I want to teach it to you. I think the healer's journey really begins with that soul seed. Then to go any further, that soul seed needs to be met with some faith. Faith that you can heal yourself. Faith that you can help others heal. Faith that you will be provided for, taken care of if you say yes to this calling, to this path. And from there you build a triangle, triangle of skill. And that skill is helping people, helping that unique love, that unique medicine that you have in yourself reliably land with the right people for you.

How do you get the right people to you? That's where you rely on your vision. It's where you rely on your own soul's path. What you know more than anybody else because you have lived it as your vision. And then there's your devotion, which is you don't stop until you figure out how that love that's in you gets to reliably. And so the system that you're building for this love that's in you, that unique medicine requires you to excavate and to clarify what is actually unique about your medicine. And you know, it doesn't have to be unique exactly, but what is it that you are uniquely well positioned to do?

So part of my soul's path is to be a little bit of a perfectionist with high standards. And I often will drag my feet in starting something if I don't think I can do it really well. My soul's path includes having gone through massive social anxiety. I couldn't look people in the eye without blushing. I couldn't finish a sentence without trailing off. I was really anxious in groups. I was I wasn't mute, but I performed in groups. I masked a lot. I would go to a group and I'd feel anxious and kind of like stage fright all day long.

And then in the group I would be guess charming, I guess, life of the party. I guess a lot of different things where nobody would ever guess that I had really severe social anxiety. Unless you spent the day with me before the social gathering and you noticed that I was cranky, irritable, anxious. So, these are things my soul's path makes me an expert on. I can spot those patterns a mile away. And I worked to heal them in groups. I worked to heal them by becoming really masterful in tuning into my own body and tuning into my energy so that I don't sponge so much everybody else and I don't chameleon myself into whatever I think people want me to be.

And I learned the actual skills of my trade by doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it. And what I realized through all of that is that what's unique about me is that I actually help people heal perfectionism through teaching them energy work. I help people heal social anxiety by teaching them energy work because that's what healed me. And I helped them heal these things and become the healer that they are inside in groups because that was the threshold I needed to cross to access the deepest truest healing.

So what is it in your soul's journey? What did you actually heal? And if you're in my world, you know, you're not copying me by saying that it was perfectionism or social anxiety or having a very sensitive empathetic nervous system and that that got healed by learning energy work. By learning how to clear your energy, by learning how to recognize the signals of your body and your chakras, by learning um to access your voice even when it was shaky. It doesn't have to be unique in that way, but there's a way that your life unfolded different than mine.

And your stories are going to connect with different people. And perhaps for you, it's it wasn't learning and the group setting that was so healing. It was the one-on-one with a trusted healer that you worked with for months or years. And you might want to become that one for somebody else. So, there is a pain to come back to. There's a real pain in not being there yet. That's no joke. It feels disheartening at times. It feels heavy. It feels like we're misunderstood. It feels like we might be going crazy because nobody really gets it around us.

And yet, if we trust the longing to come here, what we really came here to do, no matter how long it takes, to help other people heal, and to develop the skill and develop the messaging and developing you being so fiercely fully yourself that the right people are going to be magnetized to you, creating a system that really serves the people that you're here to serve. It's rewarding beyond beyond measure. It can be very rewarding moneywise lucrative but that is the least of the reward that's available here.

Allowing your particular medicine to flow into the world and seeing it transform lives. It is it has become so part and parcel of who I am that it has become a standard. I think this is normal, but it is actually insanely creative and revolutionary and effervescent and incredible to get to have lived your life in such a way that you are able to systematize and shorten the length of time it takes for other people to get where you got. So if you're going through this, I want you to think of your marketing as sacred.

It can be in so many different metaphors. Your marketing is part of the healing is what I want to say. Their marketing is it's like acting like a magnet for the right people. Your marketing is clarifying who you are as a unique healer. So that's healing you. Your marketing is helping your right person feel seen in such a way that they have never felt seen before and your marketing in itself heals them because that's your healing containers the way you set up those also are healing in themselves. So I said for me speaking in groups being forced forced to find my voice where there was many other people hearing me.

My voice was shaking and I was crying every single time. That was so profoundly healing for me that I know that the power of simply coming together in a group can heal the women who are socially anxious and always believe they have to show a certain face, wear a certain mask in any setting where there's some other person where they always feel like they have to be the one holding space for others where they feel like they are not allowed to take up room. Simply being in a group where they are asked to take up space, asked to be vulnerable and real and that is the only requirement of them is profoundly healing in itself.

How you continue to lead yourself, how you continue to alchemize what's coming up for you as you build this system, as you grapple with the pain that you're the love that you have inside of you isn't landing with the right people. That's part of the service, too. It's all part of it. And so if you're slow, if you're like, h want this. I yearn for this, but I don't think I'm cut out for it. I don't think I've got the skills. I don't think I've got anything like that. They are built. Skills are by nature things that you build.

And healer awakened. I 12 skills. 12 skills that will serve you exceedingly well on whatever healer's journey you're on. If you're already a psychotherapist, social worker, nurse, physician, these will serve you insanely well. But if you're not those things yet, and you're doing sort of the natural healer thing where you're taking everything on yourself and you're always there for your friends, but nobody's really there for you, this is liberation. Learning these skills is liberation because it allows you to do healing work without taxing your own nervous system without taking on the debt other people have accured into your own nervous system.

These are skills like learning to channel universal healing energy so you're not using your own. These are skills like learning to repair when a boundary has been crossed that it can serve you in every single relationship you will have forever more. Learning to see people as energetic energetic whole and seeing dynamics in new ways. This can help you in every single way. And what gets to happen in my container. So healer awaken because it's a group program and even more so healer embody because it's a group program and you're practicing on each other.

You get to be witnessed in your gift. And there's something magic that happens when your gifts are seen even by one person. Whether said out loud or not, when they are received, you yourself receive the download of like, but my love landed, my gifts land. And the only thing that's really required is a little bit of design, a little bit of a container, a little bit of masculine container around these energetics, these feminine energetics, and you're off to the races. In Healer Embodied, my six-month program, I'm seeing women really claim what they're here to do, what they've been wanting to do for decades, what they've been practicing in some shape or form their entire lives, and they're in their 40s.

And so, you long for your intuitive gifts, your healing touch to be received and recognized. There is probably a road ahead. It will require devotion. It will require you learn to learn the skills. But what you've lived up till now that has shaped your vision and your soul's journey. You just need a little faith and your vision is already there. You just need to build the skills and the devotion. And so if that's your time to do that right now, come talk to me on Instagram. You just DM me and I've listened to your podcast.

I want to talk. That's it. Nothing complicated. I'll just give you a few options of times we can talk. And we do. And then we see if Healer Awakened is right for you. Healer embodied is right for you. And your journey gets to start at a whole new level. Because I know for a lot of you, you've been learning on your own for decades. And it's time for you to invest and make it real and make place it on the grid because without that, your gifts are never going to really land. And that's heartbreaking.

Not just for me, not just for you, but for all the people that have been praying for you. This has been the healer's journey. I'm your host, Inge Broer. Music is by Lana Chakra, and I will see you in the next episode.